10 things happy people don’t do

Happy people are intoxicating, infectious and are considerably more pleasurable to be around than unhappy people.

Don’t we all know some of “these” people?

They walk amongst us, usually with an ear to ear grin that spreads from the inside out. These people are like charming flowers, and we all want to breathe in their intoxicating happiness.

Happy people do a lot of things, but these are 10 things happy people don’t do.

1. Happy people don’t take things for granted.

 ”Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.” ~ Eileen Caddy

So basically, happy people are awake to the goodness that is already present in their lives (and this goodness is everywhere).  Whether they are rich, poor or somewhere in-between they can appreciate the miracles beyond materialism. We are all going to have a difficult time ever being happy if we don’t start by being thankful for what we already have.

One miracle that is with everyone all the time is our breath.  Something we often overlook.  Your breath is energy, flowing endlessly, and carrying you from then to now to tomorrow. Your breath will thread all your fears, happiness, love, and truths together.  You don’t need to go buy anything; simply tune in to the miracles already present in your life.

2.  Happy people don’t hold onto resentments.

“True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”   ~ Oprah Winfrey

Happy people have learned to forgive because they know that holding onto anger leaves you at the mercy of an unpredictable and unstoppable powerful emotion. The sole intent of the mind of anger is to harm.  But what ends up happening is you harm yourself and your loved ones.

It’s actually pretty simple happy people understand that they can choose emotional well-being – even when things don’t turn out the way they want.

3.  Happy people don’t take things personally.

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~ Miguel Ruiz

Taking things personally is the voice of the ego. The ego desperately tries to protect itself from something it deems as dangerous or threatening. The reason we see something as dangerous or threatening is because it conflicts with our own personal projections of good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair. We believe that this action or speech is about us personally. Our ego reacts fast and usually unconsciously; the ego menacingly stands tall to reinforce our illusions of perfection.

Happy people recognize that most of the time these situations are just by products of other people’s dramas. When you stop taking things personally you breeze through your day with a quiet, deep sense of calm.  This is a new age way of dealing with our reactions – stop trying to control situations or people, stop avoiding or defending – see it for what it is and accept that it is there.

4.  Happy people don’t live in the past.

“You can’t go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is…now.”   ~ Jay Asher

Have you ever noticed the impressive way that happy people seem to light up a room even amidst mundane tasks.  You might wonder how they can make washing the dishes seem so enthusing.

It’s because happy people have truly mastered living in the moment. Happy people realize that the present moment, all these moments, are in fact our life.  By obsessing over the past or chasing the future you miss out on these valuable moments of your life.

5.  Happy people don’t seek validation from others.

“When we consistently suppress and distrust our intuitive knowingness, looking instead for authority, validation, and approval from others, we give our personal power away.” ~ Shakti Gawain

Here’s the problem: Being dependent on approval—so much so that we will sacrifice anything to get it—ruins lives. We become divorced from our authentic selves.

Happy people define themselves. Whether other people like them or not doesn’t much matter, all that matters is that they are walking the path that feels best.

 6.  Happy people don’t sleep in.

“Sleep is the best meditation.” ~ Dalai Lama

This might seem out of place, but it’s actually very important. Happy people are early risers.  Along with being an early risers comes the time to do activities that support happiness; activities such as mediation, exercise, preparing healthy lunches and nurturing hobbies.  Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.

Sleep can be undervalued in our busy world, but sleep in the crutch of our moods.  If you don’t have proper sleep your mental health, emotional, spiritual and physical energy will all deplete. We run the risk of turning into real life zombies.

7.  Happy people don’t undermine others.

“I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man’s self-respect is a sin.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The key point here:  Those who undermine other people are really afraid, shaky and insecure. The real issue is that someone else’s success signals your own failure. If you take a moment after you criticise someone, you’ll notice that you will feel a little deflated and ashamed. 

Happy people help others achieve their goals, instead of putting up roadblocks which ultimately slow down everyone. They understand the value of kindness. They help others by enhancing their good points instead of pointing out their weaknesses.  In the end this is a powerful way to feel good inside and others will recognize your kind energy – what you put out will come back to you.

 8. Happy people don’t give up.

“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Everyone has self doubts, but happy people squash these doubts and keep going.  They don’t blame anyone else for their successes or failures, they simply and silently keep trying.  Figure out what you love and go for it.

Happy people don’t give up on their dreams and goals but what they do give up is their need to always be right, their limiting beliefs, their resistance to change and their excuses.

9.  Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

 “Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff.”   ~ Richard Carlson

Life is full of big and little annoyances, often times we let these things drive us crazy.  The problem is that these annoyances (like fastballs) keep coming at us,  and if we let them all drive us crazy, it’s not long before we are in fact, well – crazy!

Happy people have found ways to calm down and find peace in this stress-filled life.  Put things into perspective and think of your problems as potential teachers.  Problems can teach you patience, emotional intelligence and mind control.  When you die, your petty squabbles are going to seem really silly.  Live each day as though it were your last.

10.  Happy people don’t isolate themselves.

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” ~ Arnold H. Glasow

The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Loneliness is a silent killer!

Friendships an emotional outlet that is unobtainable through any other relationship but it also boosts our endorphins, results in lower levels of cortisol – a stress hormone, wards off depression, boosts self-esteem and gives us a sense of belonging and support.

“Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you.  It’s absolutely true that, “Wherever you go, there you are.” ~ Richard Carlson

Read more »

10 Amazing things you have to know about love

1. It can be hard to talk about love in scientific terms because people have strong pre-existing ideas about it.

The vision of love that emerges from the latest science requires a radical shift. I learned that I need to ask people to step back from their current views of love long enough to consider it from a different perspective: their body’s perspective. Love is not romance. It’s not sexual desire. It’s not even that special bond you feel with family or significant others.

And perhaps most challenging of all, love is neither lasting nor unconditional. The radical shift we need to make is this: Love, as your body experiences it, is a micro-moment of connection shared with another.

2. Love is not exclusive.

We tend to think of love in the same breath as loved ones. When you take these to be only your innermost circle of family and friends, you inadvertently and severely constrain your opportunities for health, growth and well-being.

In reality, you can experience micro-moments of connection with anyone — whether your soul mate or a stranger. So long as you feel safe and can forge the right kind of connection, the conditions for experiencing the emotion of love are in place.

3. Love doesn’t belong to one person.

We tend to think of emotions as private events, confined to one person’s mind and skin. Upgrading our view of love defies this logic. Evidence suggests that when you really “click” with someone else, a discernible yet momentary synchrony emerges between the two of you, as your gestures and biochemistries, even your respective neural firings, come to mirror one another in a pattern I call positivity resonance. Love is a biological wave of good feeling and mutual care that rolls through two or more brains and bodies at once.

4. Making eye contact is a key gateway for love.

Your body has the built-in ability to “catch” the emotions of those around you, making your prospects for love — defined as micro-moments of positivity resonance — nearly limitless. As hopeful as this sounds, I also learned that you can thwart this natural ability if you don’t make eye contact with the other person. Meeting eyes is a key gatekeeper to neural synchrony.

5. Love fortifies the connection between your brain and your heart, making you healthier.

Decades of research show that people who are more socially connected live longer and healthier lives. Yet precisely how social ties affect health has remained one of the great mysteries of science.

My research team and I recently learned that when we randomly assign one group of people to learn ways to create more micro-moments of love in daily live, we lastingly improve the function of the vagus nerve, a key conduit that connects your brain to your heart. This discovery provides a new window into how micro-moments of love serve as nutrients for your health.

6. Your immune cells reflect your past experiences of love.

Too often, you get the message that your future prospects hinge on your DNA. Yet the ways that your genes get expressed at the cellular level depends mightily on many factors, including whether you consider yourself to be socially connected or chronically lonely.

My team is now investigating the cellular effects of love, testing whether people who build more micro-moments of love in daily life also build healthier immune cells.

7. Small emotional moments can have disproportionately large biological effects.

It can seem surprising that an experience that lasts just a micro-moment can have any lasting effect on your health and longevity. Yet I learned that there’s an important feedback loop at work here, an upward spiral between your social and your physical well-being.

That is, your micro-moments of love not only make you healthier, but being healthier builds your capacity for love. Little by little, love begets love by improving your health. And health begets health by improving your capacity for love.

8. Don’t take a loving marriage for granted.

Writing this book has profoundly changed my personal view of love. I used to uphold love as that constant, steady force that all but defines my marriage. While that constant, steady force still exists, I now see our bond as a product of the many micro-moments of positivity resonance that my husband and I have shared over the years. This shakes me out of any complacency that tempts me to take our love for granted. Love is something we should re-cultivate every single day.

9. Love and compassion can be one and the same.

If we reimagine love as micro-moments of shared positivity, it can seem like love requires that you always feel happy. I learned that this isn’t true. You can experience a micro-moment of love even as you or the person with whom you connect suffers.

Love doesn’t require that you ignore or suppress negativity. It simply requires that some element of kindness, empathy or appreciation be added to the mix. Compassion is the form love takes when suffering occurs.

10. Simply upgrading your view of love changes your capacity for it.

The latest science offers new lenses through which to see your every interaction. The people I interviewed for the book shared incredibly moving stories about how they used micro-moments of connection to make dramatic turnarounds in their personal and work lives.

One of the most hopeful things I learned is that when people take just a minute or so each day to think about whether they felt connected and attuned to others, they initiate a cascade of benefits. And this is something you could start doing today, having learned even just this much more about how love works.

Read more »

How To Be Happy With Yourself Everyday

Want to know how to be happy with yourself? Want to know what principles happy people cling on to? Here's a peek to some of the secrets to being happy with who you are day in and out. With hope, the following should change your perspective in life and improve your disposition. Lastly, it should help you embrace yourself and be one of the happy few who succeed in life.

Here are some tips on how to be happy:

Loosen up and find time for leisure. Your crazy work life and domestic responsibilities may kill your free time completely but that should never be the case. You don't need an hour to pamper yourself to some quick leisure activities. Take a fifteen-minute break every three hours of solid chair-wrecking session with your laptop and treat yourself to a sweet and warm mug of chocolate or cappuccino. Go out for a breather and take in some fresh air or watch the sun folds its glorious rays before your very eyes.

Surround yourself with things that delight you. If you are a girl, surround yourself with beautiful things such as flowers or plants, pretty furniture or work desk fillers, funny photos, inspiring quotes, etc. If you are a guy, you might find action toy figures, family picture, car posters or photos of gadgets fascinating. Whatever it is that lights a flicker of smile in your heart, whether it's something you have or don't have practical use of, put it where you frequent. These things shall remind you of your aspirations and experiences and stir in you a sense of joy that can only be found in simple things.

Lose yourself from time to time. Do crazy things once in a while and make yourself as goofy as possible. The ability to enjoy life is sometimes reflected on how mighty you can laugh at yourself. Don't be afraid to see and unleash your freak. Take your inhibitions away, have fun, and get to know yourself in every light. This is a good exercise if you really want to know how to be happy with yourself. After all, being comfortable with yourself means knowing yourself fully well.

Accept everything you are. No one else will. It is okay to have flaws and there's nothing wrong with being imperfect. Sure there are things you wish you could be or have but that doesn't nullify all the other good qualities you have. And if you will take time to notice, you find that not all bad things about you are thorns in the flesh. Sometime, they can be your saving grace, too.

Set aside time for self-talk. No, you don't do it in public or when you're in your cubicle. Like scheduling an appointment with your dentist, this self-talk should be done in private, when you are alone and not rushing. What do you do in a self-talk therapy session? Well, it's basically an exercise where you let your thoughts and feelings out by talking. You can get a mirror if you are more visual but often times just focusing on yourself talk will suffice. Talk as if you are the only person alive. It's good for the soul and spirit, but never ever try doing it out in public or others may think you're crazy.

Make other people happy. You can start by doing kind things for others or saying some really encouraging or inspiring. You may show up and show your support if a significant one is undergoing a life-changing event in her life or a crisis. Or you may literally crack a joke or witty remark over lunch or during a boring meeting. Whatever could make someone happy, do it as long as you are capable. The more happiness you give, the more you receive.

All in all, how to be happy with yourself takes effort. For some it comes out naturally but in some cases, you really have to work on it. Thankfully, there are ways. You have just been given the key to lasting happiness, use it well.

Discover the easy ways on how to be happy today. Visit us at www.motivateyourself.org to find out how.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Grace_Rivera

Read more »